08.03.2015

Good & Bad Stuff = That's live...

Koooooooniiichiiii waaaaa!!!!
Uff, i could manage it again to write a Post. The second post in the Year 2015 and somehow...i'm sad because of it. My dream was it to write much more and now this again...X'D
Also i bought a new Laptop. I thought it's smaller, but it's sooo big. I totally love it, even when i don't undertand Windows 8 at the moment. I think i'll get used to it. After a very long time XDDD But it's sooo comfortable with such a huge screen and my Toshiba is white!! SO PRETTY!!!!
Okay....It will be stressful to find a suitable bag and i also don't know if i'll take the laptop with me to Japan....Really, the laptop is also pretty heavy > o <
Let's see, let's see. By the way...here's a photo with my Musumen DVD...SO BIG!!! 

I bought the Edition with Aoi, Tomitake and Nibansenji! :3 Also got a little Member-Card from Aoi, hehehe~
Speaking of Japan, i'll finally fly again. Although it will be a ShortTrip this time (from 26th March until 3. April). A little short Trip to Tokyo at the cherry blossom time. I still can believe it! It's a dream that come true!! Haaaah~, when thinking about it, i totally looking forward. More than the Flights before...

Maybe I can write about the days when i'm back in Germany. I think i can't write it in Japan, because the days are super busy with maaaaaany activities. So i think i'll just be super tired when i'm back at the hotel
I'm also super excited to talk again Japanese. Since January, i have learned at the weekend for some hours...okay sometimes more than 7 hours when i'm not busy 
This time, unlike before it works much better with another learn methode.


I know this are just good news but i also write something sad. At the 25th Febuary i needed to go with my mum and my cat to the veterinarian. A half year ago we went also there, but this time was the last time with my dear little cat. She couldn't go anymore, she hasn't eat/drink anything the whole day and Ismi couldn't lift her head. On our way to the veterinarian we thought the doctor could help us and make her healthy again...but this time even the doctor couldn't do anything, and he told us that my little darling is more dead than alive. It was a huge shock and i couldn't think properly. living without her...i thought about it some times ago but this situation was still shocking. I couldn't think anymore and just cried. I mean, i've had my cat for so many years, and this day the dead was so close. She was almost 14 years old, i think this is old but after all...
It was sad to let her go and it was also hard to make that decision to leave her sleep forever. She couln't be healed because she had cancer...again this illness take someone precious from me.
I always thought it would be fast to euthanize an animal...but it felt so long and it felt almost like a permanent loop that wouldn't end.
But after a very long time she fall in sleep forever and couldn't wake up again. The last seconds i didn't watched, it was to hard to see it and i just cried. Til the end i caress her, Ismi's last sound was a sigh. She made it so often when she wanted to relax and was annoyed that it was tooo loud. Somehow i had to smile about it....Even in the end, she was annoyed when we were to loud...gosh my little princess.


still miss her...
The first days were so hard and i still heared her and saw her everywhere. I know this sound very dramatic but it was really like this.
Some days ago i decided together with my Mother that we want again a cat. There are many people outside who said i'm heartless, but i can't understand them. I know this cat (or in my case now two cats) can't be Ismi. I don't even want this. She died because of a illness and it would be more heartless to buy new ones and call them the same name and the same color. This cats will be totally different from Ismi. But that's a good thing!!
I know i'll never forget her and nobody can replace her in heart. Nevertheless, i'll also love the two new and i'll take care of them. Of course, there will get also a place in my heart.
So...enough from sad stories. It was already pretty hard to write about my feelings
Sometimes bad stuff happened but that's live.


And now i'll end the Blogentry 


MOOD:
MUSIC:Darude - Sandstorm



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